Geo Bachelor

I have officially become a Geo bachelor. Well, I guess not totally, my 16 year old is still with me to finish this school year, but after that I will be all by myself. It is weird. There is no boat to keep me busy so I find myself thinking how empty the house seems. I am getting plenty of alone time and sometimes that is good, but as I am roaming around the house cleaning up I will find something that reminds me of one of the kids and I will miss them terribly for a few minutes then continue on. I can't get over how quiet the house is and actually miss the constant noise and kids fighting. I spent yesterday watching movers pack up stuff to ship back home the wife and kids. Then I moved the rest of the stuff that I am not keeping with me for the next year into the garage so movers can come take that to storage today. I have to move out of this house because as a "bachelor" I no longer qualify for a 4 bedroom. My original plan was to move all the stuff that I wanted into my new place and then let the movers go to town, but the new place isn't ready yet. This is why I spent all afternoon yesterday moving a vast majority of the larger items I own into the garage, just so they don't accidentally take any of the stuff I want with them. I won't be able to move into my new place for like 3 weeks. I guess I should be happy, because that gives me more time to clean this place thouroughly so I don't get ass-hammered on the Housing move out inspection. I feel like I am getting ready for ORSE and I don't get pro pay any more. Well, enough babbling for now I think I hear the moving truck...

Could we please stop talking about the Octomom?

Enough already, why must the media keep giving this crazy woman who has not had sex in like 15 years but still managed to have 14 kids in that time news coverage. I am tired of hearing about her, from the death threats to the fights with her mom to whatever the hell else this woman is doing. I prefer women who want to have children the old fashioned way. Don't get me wrong, for those people who try and try to have kids and for whatever reason can't, then helping them along with invetro fertilization, hormone therapy, or fertility drugs is cool. But when a woman has six kids already, with no husband, why does she need more? The doctor that helped her should have to pay to support all those kids and get his license removed. Please make it stop.

ARE YOU F*%&ing KIDDING ME!!!

A Florida woman called 911 for a McNugget emergency. Not once mind you but three times. What the fuck is wrong with people? Who's the suspect? The Hamburglar...maybe but it doesn't fit his MO. I'd like to see that police lineup. Ronald, the Fry Guys, Birdie, Grimace and the Hamburglar all lined up like on the cover of The Usual Suspects. Hamburglar all saying "Keyser Soce, rabble, rabble and shit". Thankfully that dumb woman has been asked to appear in court for misuse of 911. But officers "That bitch be hongry" I don't know what else to say.....

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,504125,00.html

At the request of one of my faithful readers, a link to the story that inspired the post.

A Submarine Love Song

You're always there
Whenever I need you
You stand by my side
Perhaps I should clean you
You never complain
When I put you away
My faithful companion
On each uderway
You certainly do
Have your own little charms
And I now realize
Why Popeye has such big forearms
You're my most prized possession
It's definitely a lock
I don't give a damn
That you're just an old sock
Some people might think
What a silly game
To give a tube sock
A feminine name
This old submarine
Is a lonely old place
I use a black sharpie
To draw you a face
Hide you under my pillow
I'm not being mean
I just don't want to lose you
You are special Doreen
You're always there
Whenever I need you
Though you help me beat it
I'll never mistreat you